Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
