I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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