I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize