is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Drake has all the answers
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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