you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
