Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
