Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
