So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
