Umm I'm too high to move.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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