I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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