I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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