Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You pole danced in your parka.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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