Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
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How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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