I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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