Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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