your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
