Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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