Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
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The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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