So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
