you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
People in love make me want to vomit
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize