we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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