How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
