it hurts more in the daytime
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
