Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
