do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
