I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
