Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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