I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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