another moral hangover. fuck.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
