So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
