you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
