i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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