I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
there is puke in my bra ... again
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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