thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
