I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
