Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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