My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize