Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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