Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize