Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
