He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
third nipple confirmed
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize