i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize