How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
