you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
