she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize