You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
