that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize