: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
