Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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