I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Its about making memories worth repressing
it was like eating out sand paper
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
