i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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