Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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