Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
