U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
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