OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
