Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize