It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
