where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
