How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
