At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize