Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
