I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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